YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
