Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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