I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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