so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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