oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
