Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
