I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
