i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
