So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
