I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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