i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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