Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
NoShamevember. You game?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
