So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
