They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize