uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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