My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Church boner. Awkwardddd
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
