wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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