Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
