He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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