HIV tests are more positive than that guy
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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