i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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