did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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