I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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