My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
