oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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