but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
