I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ketchup is God's man juice
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
