I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
