waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
