Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
