Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
