I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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