at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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