I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
