Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
