dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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