she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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