My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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