I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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