I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
