is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
