I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
