Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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