im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
