doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
