You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
