So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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