So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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