apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
