I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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