im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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