well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
