The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize