would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
