ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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