Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
