White coat. Heels.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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