Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
