he shaved USA in his pubs
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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