man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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