sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
