I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
