why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
